For the First Time - A Pein Oneshot
by rizanicole
Summary: A short one shot starring the Akatsuki's infamous leader, Pein. This story is not one of my favorite things that I've written, but I hope someone out there will enjoy it! Please review or message me if you have a chance, I am always looking for feedback. :) **Originally published on Quizilla 12/07/2012**


I slammed the door to my room behind me with a bang, angrily walking over to the bed. Fists still clenched at my sides, I threw myself down on it and finally let myself succumb to angry tears.

 _Damn him_ , I thought to myself, over and over again. _Damn him for besting me at everything. I knew I could never do anything right._

Despite what anyone would think if they could see me now, I actually grew up in a normal home. I had kind, encouraging parents, an annoying younger sibling, a dog, the whole nine yards. But somehow, I'd still ended up here.

Four years ago, when I was just seventeen, I ran away from home because I thought - no, I _knew_ \- that I would never be good enough. I wasn't worried about pleasing other people; I just knew that I would never be good enough to satisfy myself. I couldn't take being bested by others, so I suppose that, in a way, one could say I'm envious. I left my life behind to go live alone, where I wouldn't have to deal with other people, and would never have to see another person beat me at one of the skills I took pride in. A couple of people from my home village tried to come take me back a few times, but they always failed. I was never very strong, but I was so angry with the world that I fought bitterly with tooth and nail. And since no one was actually willing to kill me, it wasn't hard to fight them off.

I suppose it was my anger at every other human being on the planet that first brought me to Pein's attention. That's right, I call him Pein - I'll never refer to anyone as my leader. He recruited me for his team, the Akatsuki, and I didn't really have a choice in the matter. Thinking back, it may not have even mattered that he was stronger than me; there was something about him that made me think he was angry with the world, too, and had problems with others to settle, so maybe I simply went with him because he reminded me of myself.

Either way, I'd been with the Akatsuki for about six months now. It was difficult to adjust at first, considering I'd gotten so used to living alone. Pein tried having me room with Itachi and Kisame at first, but that hadn't exactly worked out, so I was eventually given my own room. I can tell the others wonder why Pein caters to me the way he does, and frankly, I don't understand it, either. He must see something in me, though I can't imagine what it is that's so special about me in particular. Like I said, I'm not very strong.

Anyways, I'm just glad I get a room to myself. But back to the present. I was currently cursing Sasori for having beaten me in every one of the recent training exercises. I had to be his partner today because Pein insisted the usual groups be split up, and after a while, I'd gotten pretty tired of getting my ass kicked by a puppet. As soon as training was over, I'd run back to my room, which brings things up to speed.

After a few more minutes of sobbing and muttering, I finally began to calm down and breathe more evenly. _At least everyone's gone now_ , I thought to myself. Most of the Akatsuki pairs had just departed for missions, and Konan had gone to get groceries and supplies the next town over, so I was here alone with Pein. Not that I would see him, of course. He seemed to stay holed up in his office all day, every day, which was somewhat unfortunate considering he was the only person in the Akatsuki I liked at all.

By the time my eyes had dried and my face had returned to its normal color, I decided to go out and read a book on taijutsu that I'd been studying in the main room. I usually wouldn't do such a thing, since the room was normally crowded with people, but now that no one was here, it was quite nice. I sat down on one of the couches with my book, flipping to the page where I'd last stopped reading, when I heard the sound of a heavy door opening and closing. Only one door in the base was capable of making that noise; apparently, Pein had come out of his office.

After a few moments of me looking expectantly down the hallway, Pein came into view, moving towards me. He locked his ringed eyes with mine and sat on the opposite side of the couch from me, inclining his head slightly in greeting. I repeated the gesture.

"Leah," he began in the deep voice I couldn't help but like to hear, "I noticed you've been having some trouble adjusting to life in the Akatsuki. Is there anything I can do to make you feel more at ease here?"

I shook my head 'no,' somewhat surprised by this question, and by the fact that he was in the common room at all. The man had already done everything he could to make me warm up to Akatsuki life. "No, Pein-sama," I replied. "I just don't think I'm cut out for living with other people." I continued looking into his fascinating eyes. Although I would never admit it, I did feel somewhat intimidated by his gaze.

Pein gave a small chuckle, a sound I had never heard before. "None of us are really fit to live with others, Leah. The members fight with each other every day. That doesn't mean they don't each have a place here."

I nodded my head slowly, wondering whether to ask the question that was on my mind. Eventually, I decided I had nothing to lose, and said, "Pein-sama, why did you want me in the Akatsuki?"

He didn't hesitate or move his eyes from mine when he answered. "Because you are powerful, Leah." I opened my mouth to contradict him, but he cut me off. "Maybe not physically, but your emotions make you valuable."

I couldn't help but feel a bit offended at his comment. "So, you wanted me because I'm a raging psychopath?" I broke eye contact to look at the floor, a mix of anger and hurt flaring up in my mind.

"No," he said simply, moving a bit closer to me on the couch. He hesitated before placing his hand on top of mine, not quite seeming familiar with the comforting gesture. I looked back up at him. "I wanted you," he said, expression impressively stoic, "because that anger is a form of passion, which can be utilized in many ways. You know the world is cruel, and you have insights into its workings and the ways people react to them, which many do not. You are not naïve, Leah. I just want you to use your passion and knowledge for a greater purpose."

Whatever answer I'd been expecting, it certainly hadn't been that. I'd always seen my anger as a flaw, but Pein believed I could channel it into something useful. I felt much of my usual rage at the world dissipate as I stared at him in awe, almost feeling as if he were a god.

"Thank you," I said to him, bowing my head in what was an unusually respectful gesture for me. "I'd never thought of it that way before."

"You're welcome," he responded, removing his hand from mine. I was briefly saddened by the loss of contact, but quickly brushed the thought aside. Pein stood back up and turned to face the hallway. "I have some paperwork that I must attend to. I'd appreciate it if you'd help me get through it."

I was surprised at his request, but had no intent to refuse. "Of course," I said, standing up and following him down the hall. Once we reached his office, he opened the loud door again, and we walked in. Pein moved a small chair from the corner of the room next to his usual, larger one, and the two of us sat down.

He handed me a stack of papers. "If you would, read through these and summarize them for me. I need to know whether or not to sign them, as well as get an idea of which members should be assigned to each mission." I nodded and picked up the first document, beginning to read, while Pein did the same beside me.

It didn't take me very long to figure out that these were relatively important documents, so I was surprised that Pein was letting me see them. After I read through each one, I would summarize the sender's words to Pein, and he would either give it his signature of throw it into a trashcan next to his desk.

During my task, I couldn't help my mind from wandering slightly. My brain was flooded with thoughts of the man beside me. What was it that I had felt earlier, out in the main room? Why had I been sad when he took his hand off of mine? Even when he came to 'recruit' me for the Akatsuki, I had felt like we somehow had something in common. My eyes subtly moved from the paper in front of me to Pein. It seemed like something within me just compelled me to look at him, as if I was legitimately happy to be near another person, which seemed absurd. And although I usually wasn't at all impressed by physical appearances, I had to admit to myself, there was something attractive about his piercings.

I mentally slapped myself for thinking such things, returning my eyes to the mission description in front of me. Even if I did have real 'feelings' for him, which was doubtful, our positions would never have allowed it, so there was no point in wasting time thinking about it. I sighed out loud, and Pein turned his head to look at me.

"Something the matter, Leah?" he asked in his usual calm voice. I shook my head without making eye contact, but he seemed unconvinced. "You do know that you can tell me if you're having any sort of problem."

I blushed a bit, even though I knew his words were only those of a concerned boss. "No, Pein-sama."

"Well," he began, "if you don't have anything to tell me, I do have something to tell you."

I looked back up into his eyes curiously. "Yes, Pein-sama?"

He reached one hand out and placed it gently on my cheek, making my heart beat faster. He then leaned forward slowly, lessening the gap between us, until our lips met in a soft kiss.

I was shocked by the contact, to say the least. My heart was going a mile a minute, and unfortunately, Pein pulled away after only a second, not giving me time to return the kiss. I opened my eyes, which I hadn't realized I'd closed, and looked at him.

His signature stoic expression was still in place, but the tone of his voice was far from uncaring. "Leah, I realize that this may seem sudden, but you are more to me than just another member. I have tried to downplay my feelings for you, but they persisted, and nothing in my power can stop what I'm feeling now. Leah, I am in love with you."

I momentarily stopped breathing when he said that. Could I have heard him correctly? More importantly, did I feel the same way? Everything was happening so fast, I wasn't sure. But Pein was waiting for an answer.

"Pein-sama," I began, slowly and carefully, "I have never felt the way I feel about you with any other person. I want to be around you, and I feel like we have something in common that I've never had with anyone else. You are the only person to ever make me feel as if I were valuable." I paused for a moment. My own speech had confirmed what my heart knew all along. I held his gaze when I stated, "What I mean to say is, I love you, too."

At that moment, I saw an actual smile, albeit a small one, cross Pein's face. "Thank you." He then leaned forward to kiss me again, letting his lips linger a bit longer this time. I kissed him back, and the feeling of our lips moving together was absolutely perfect.

He pulled away after a minute and looked me in the eyes, the small smile still in place. For a few seconds, we both simply looked at each other, smiling slightly, as we appreciated the moment. Neither of us spoke. Finally, Pein leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my back and under my knees, easily pulling me onto his lap in a strong embrace. I wrapped my arms around his torso in return, feeling nearly overwhelmed with joy.

This was someone I truly cared about, and who truly cared about me. From this moment on, I knew he would be irreplaceable in my life. We had both been wronged by others. We both knew the world was flawed. But that didn't mean we couldn't still find beauty in it.

We had found each other.

And for two people who never believed they had the capacity to love, that was more than enough.


End file.
